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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27026200">yellow is the color of his eyes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wongsdong69/pseuds/wongsdong69'>wongsdong69</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Brief Smut, Crying, Death, M/M, Not A Happy Ending, i literally broke down sobbing while writing this, im sorry in advance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:55:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,962</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27026200</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wongsdong69/pseuds/wongsdong69</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I love you.”</p><p>Renjun smiled, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes. “I love you too.”</p><p>Hyuck pulled back, holding Renjun’s face tenderly as a look of worry spread across his face. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>Renjun sniffled, wiping his face hurriedly. “Nothing I’m just… Happy. I really love you too, Hyuck.” He cast his face down, hiding his expression, and though Hyuck was suspicious, he said nothing.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>based off the song yellow is the color of her eyes by soccer mommy. i recommend listening to it while reading!! also not edited so if there are any mistakes, I'm sorry, I couldn't bring myself to read it again haha</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Their first kiss was in September. Donghyuck stared at Renjun. The man was leaning against a tree, hand holding down his hat as the wind blew his hair about. He stretched his arm out to the open air, fingers spread, feeling the breeze pass through them. He turned back to Hyuck, flashing a dazzling smile before running up to him. </p><p>“What are you doing? C’mon!” He shouted, taking the younger’s hand and pulling him into the vast field. Placing one hand on Hyuck’s hip, he swayed around, spinning the both of them as he hummed loudly.</p><p>Renjun was such a beautiful person. He was never scared to do what he wanted, no fear of other’s judgement. He always lived in the moment, and smiled devilishly at Hyuck when he called him crazy for it. He always pulled Hyuck out of his comfort zone, but that's why he loved him. </p><p>“Renjun.” </p><p>“Shh, we’re dancing.” Renjun continued his humming after a short pause.</p><p>“Renjun.” Hyuck laughed airly.</p><p>Renjun stopped his swaying, giving Hyuck a pointed look. Hyuck leaned in and kissed him. Renjun gasped, but kissed him back, wrapping his thin arms around Donghyuck’s neck. They pulled apart and Hyuck leaned his forehead against Renjun’s. </p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>Renjun smiled, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes. “I love you too.”</p><p>Hyuck pulled back, holding Renjun’s face tenderly as a look of worry spread across his face. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>Renjun sniffled, wiping his face hurriedly. “Nothing I’m just… Happy. I really love you too, Hyuck.” He cast his face down, hiding his expression, and though Hyuck was suspicious, he said nothing. </p><p>“Can you walk me home? I feel kind of tired.” Renjun kicked at the ground and Donghyuck nodded, squatting to let Renjun on his back. Renjun burst into a fit of giggles, climbing onto him and holding on tight. </p><p>They chattered quietly until they stopped at Renjun’s house, and he slid off Hyuck’s back. He grinned at him and quickly pressed a kiss to his cheek. “See you tomorrow?” Hyuck nodded, a goofy grin on his face. “Can’t wait.”</p><p>He waited for Renjun to get inside to walk away, humming the same tune that Renjun was humming earlier. The next day when Donghyuck went to Renjun’s house, his mother answered the door. When they had first met, Donghyuck had thought it was odd that Renjun’s mother was living with him, considering he was in his mid twenties, but the older brushed it off, saying he wanted to take care of her.</p><p>Renjun’s mother grinned at him. “Oh, you must be here for Renjun. I’m sorry, but he’s feeling unwell today.” </p><p>“Oh uh…” Donghyuck fumbled for words. “Can I see him?” </p><p>Renjun’s mother nodded, stepping back to let him in. “He’s in his room, I’ll get some tea and cookies for you two.” Hyuck thanked her quietly and walked down the hallway, opening Renjun’s door. </p><p>He was sitting facing the window, wrapped in a mound of blankets, he didn’t turn to the door. Instead, he spoke, “I’m okay, mama. Just tired.” Donghyuck stayed silent, walking behind him before putting his hands in front of Renjun’s eyes. “Guess who?”</p><p>Renjun gasped, spinning around to face him. His face was a mix of surprise and sadness. “Oh, sorry I should’ve called.” Donghyuck climbed onto the bed next to him. “It’s okay. I’m here now. Are you sick?” He pressed his palm to Renjun’s forehead , but Renjun pushed it away, leaning forwards to kiss Hyuck. The kiss was sloppy and desperate, and Donghyuck struggled to keep up.</p><p>There was a knock on the door, and the men jumped in unison. Renjun’s mother smiled at them apologetically. “Sorry to interrupt, I brought snacks.” Renjun stood up, unsheathing his blankets and walking to his mother. “Here are the cookies and cups. I’ll come back with the teapot. Be careful, baby.” Renjun nodded and shakily walked back to the bed, setting the dishes down on the side table.   </p><p>He waited for his mother to come back with the tea before sitting down again. He took Donghyuck’s hand and kissed it gingerly. Donghyuck squinted at him. “Renjun, are you okay?” </p><p>Renjun nodded, intertwining their fingers. “Would you…” He trailed off, eyes turning to look outside. Donghyuck squeezed his hand, urging him on. Renjun faced him, nervously chewing his lip. “This is going to sound insane.” </p><p>Donghyuck raised his hand to brush Renjun’s bangs back. “I trust you.”</p><p>Renjun looked down his lap, and Hyuck could almost see the thoughts running through his mind. “I- Well… Would you want to get married?” </p><p>Donghyuck’s heart stuttered, and his mouth dropped open in shock. “Renjun what? Are you serious?” </p><p>Renjun avoided Hyuck’s gaze, “I know, I know. It’s just… We never know how much time we’ll have left. We should make the most of it. But it’s also totally okay if you don’t want that.” </p><p>Donghyuck nodded and wrapped his arm around Renjun. “I’m not saying no, okay? I just need to think about it.” Renjun hummed and leaned against him. “Thank you for being my best friend.”</p><p>Hyuck laughed, “You’re being so sappy today.” Renjun smiled, biting his shoulder playfully. “It’s because I LOVE you.” </p><p>“Well that’s good, because I love you too.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Their wedding was in October. It was held outside, the warm colors of fall contrasting with Renjun’s pale skin. The only guests attending were their families, and Renjun’s mother cried. They danced in the leaves and Renjun glowed. Donghyuck could feel himself glowing too. </p><p>They danced and danced until they could barely stand anymore, giggling like fools as they fell to the ground. It was perfect. Renjun leaned down and kissed him, and it felt like Donghyuck was whole. Renjun stared into his eyes, it was like they were the only ones in the world at that moment, the silence soon being cut through by Donghyuck’s siblings yelling about cake.</p><p>Renjun laughed and rolled off of him, and Donghyuck helped him up. They made their way to cut the cake together and Donghyuck’s parents teased them. “How about you guys keep it pg-13 while we’re all here, alright?” Renjun’s face flushed and his mother ruffled his hair jokingly. </p><p>“C’mon! We need to get pictures of this!” Donghyuck’s mother pulled her camera out and pointed it at the couple expectantly. Renjun took the knife from the table and Hyuck put his hand over his husband’s. They cut a slice and Renjun dipped his fingers into the icing to smear it across Hyuck’s cheek. </p><p>“Hey!” He laughed loudly, doing the same to Renjun. The camera flashed, catching the memories. Renjun kissed Hyuck again, the sweet taste of frosting on their lips.</p><p>After a few more hours of spending time with their families, they all parted ways. Donghyuck carried Renjun to his car smiling lovingly at him.</p><p>They drove to Donghyuck's apartment and Renjun was lulled to sleep by the radio. Hyuck carried him inside the apartment and got them undressed to go to bed. </p><p>Renjun stirred, his eyes trailing down Hyuck's nude body. "I'm sorry we can't have sex tonight… I'm just so tired." </p><p>Hyuck caressed his face. "I know. You don't have to apologize for that." Renjun kissed his palm, gazing at him intensely. </p><p>"Today was the best day of my life." He began to tear up. "I love you so much, Donghyuck." Donghyuck kissed his tears as they fell down his face. "I love you too, Renjun."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They had sex for the first time in November. It was awkward, and full of laughter, but eventually they got the hang of it. </p><p>Renjun nipped at Donghyuck's neck, sliding his hands under Hyuck's shirt. "You're insatiable." </p><p>Renjun smirked, "You love it." Donghyuck stopped slicing vegetables and picked up Renjun to set him on the counter, moving to stand in between his thighs. Renjun connected their lips, licking into Hyuck’s mouth and nibbling on his lower lip. Donghyuck gripped Renjun’s thighs and massaged circles into them, making the man antsy.</p><p>He quickly pulled back to rip off his shirt and throw it away to the side and Donghyuck slid his hands up and down his bare torso. He flicked over his nipples and Renjun moaned airily. “Hyuck.” He breathed. </p><p>“What is it, baby?” Hyuck pressed a kiss to his sternum, patiently waiting for his response.</p><p>“Don’t be gentle. I want you to break me.”</p><p>Donghyuck felt breathless. He dropped his hands to Renjun’s waist, squeezing gently. "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you." </p><p>Renjun kissed his nose. "I want to feel all of you. I'll be okay."</p><p>Donghyuck kissed him again, hands frantically pulling down Renjun's sweatpants along with his boxers. Renjun shuddered from the cold air hitting his skin, and he gripped onto Hyuck's shoulders and he fisted his leaking cock. </p><p>Renjun whined loudly, pulling at Hyuck's shirt. Hyuck pulled it off, and unbuttoning his pants to slide them off as well.</p><p>Renjun kissed him again, placing a hand on his jaw to keep their mouths connected. His other hand guided Donghyuck's hand back to his cock, and he stroked it slowly, driving Renjun wild. </p><p>He bucked his hips up craving more friction, more touches, more feelings. Hyuck pushed a finger into his ass and Renjun hummed in contentment. </p><p>"It feels… Amazing. More, please." He begged, and Donghyuck couldn't help but give in. Renjun looked like an actual angel, fucked out and panting just for him. </p><p>Oddly his heart warmed at the sight. Renjun was all his, forever.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Renjun died in December. It was so sudden, it happened in the dead of night. </p><p>Donghyuck had a dream that was all too real. He was floating, over an ocean. The setting sun cast a warm yellow hue over the waves and there he appeared. </p><p>Renjun. He looked so pure. He reached out to Donghyuck, gently taking both of his hands into his. Tears streamed down his face. </p><p>"I love you, Donghyuck. You're my world, my everything. You've made me the happiest man."</p><p>Hyuck furrowed his eyebrows. "Hey don't cry. It's okay, I love you too." </p><p>Renjun shook his head sadly, snot running down from his nose as he cried. "I'm so sorry. I don't want to leave. I really don't." </p><p>Donghyuck felt the warmth from his hands slowly fade as Renjun disappeared. </p><p>Gasping, Donghyuck woke up in a cold sweat. He turned to his sleeping husband, gently shaking him. "Holy shit, Renjun." </p><p>Renjun didn't move. </p><p>"Jun? Renjun?" Donghyuck shook him harder, his limbs seeming limp.</p><p>"Oh my God. Renjun!" He screamed. He bent down next to his face, listening closely for his breathing, growing more panicked with each passing second. </p><p>"Fuck fuck, no. God please no, Oh my god." Tears ran down his face as he checked for a pulse, for any sign of his husband being alive. But there was nothing.  </p><p>Just Renjun's cold body. </p><p>Shaking, he dialed for an ambulance.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His funeral was held in January. The cold bit at Donghyuck's nose, and made his tears all the more painful.</p><p>The only people attending were his family, and Renjun's mother. He held her as they sobbed together, watching the white casket being lowered into the ground. </p><p>Eventually Donghyuck's family left, offering to take Renjun's mother home. Donghyuck stayed. He fell to his knees in front of the headstone. He begged God to bring Renjun back, he cursed at the sky. </p><p>He punched the ground and screamed and cried at no one in particular for taking his baby away. His other half. There was nothing now but a headstone and an empty feeling eating away at his insides. </p><p>loving you isn’t enough <br/>you’ll still be deep in the ground when it’s done<br/>i’ll know the day when it comes<br/>i’ll feel the cold as they put out my sun</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I was thinking of adding on endings, i have ideas for two different ones. lmk if you'd want to read them!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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